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Takeaways from Paul Hokemeyer’s Fragile Power by Peter Lorange



Fragile Power focuses on treating the wealthy and famous. It is written by one of the world’s leading psychoanalysts and an expert on celebrity identities and marriage counseling. Dr. Paul—the name the author seems to prefer to use—aims to shed light on the conundrum of why having everything never seems to be enough!


The book is divided into eight chapters, each dealing with a particular psychoanalytical condition or issue. I shall review what—for me—constitutes the essence of these chapters when it comes to preserving value. It goes without saying that various conditions signifying mental imbalances might indeed represent significant value-destroying risks. Hence, this book is important, not the least for members of the Lorange Network.


Dr. Paul provides an abundance of stories, anecdotes, and quotes from many of his patients, all anonymized, of course. There are also plenty of fresh analytical insights about Dr. Paul himself. While such insights reveal extraordinary self-awareness, I shall not review them here, nor shall I recount the anecdotal stories. Rather, I shall attempt to focus on what seem to be the key generalizable messages behind the eight chapters.


In the introduction, Dr. Paul firmly states the basis for the rest of the book as a profound respect for all human beings and acknowledgement of their unique individualities. Wealth and power are often relatively uncorrelated with mental happiness.


In Chapter One, Dr. Paul discusses the costs and rewards of our celebrity addiction to following the lives of celebrities. Regrettably, there tends to be an almost insatiable hunger for more celebrity gossip!


The author goes on in Chapter Two to discuss inadequacy, focusing on how individuals’ insecurities and thought distortions might cause dysfunctionalities. Their roots can often be found in the so-called impostor syndrome, implying that many believe they are not adequate despite the successes they may have. As a result of this syndrome, people become guarded, defensive, and even arrogant.


Dr. Paul next focuses on vanity, meaning self-worth, vulnerability, and narcissism. The basis of this is the pervasive phenomenon of shame-based fear of being ordinary, and thus of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed. In particular, Dr. Paul points out that there seems to be a virtual tsunami of narcissism stemming from widely distributed iPhones, social media profiles, and “likes.” This feeling of inferiority and over-dependence on external acclaim often originates early in life and is perhaps the single most destructive factor facing the rich and famous.


Dominance is the next topic, and the author quotes Oscar Wilde as having said, “Sex is about power.” The bad boy geek phenomenon is quite widespread in Silicon Valley, for instance. Leading companies such as Uber have been known to encourage particularly dominant male behavior in terms of interactions with women. The rich and famous tend to employ escorts to a larger degree and engage in marital infidelity more often. Both sexes seem to be represented when it comes to engaging in these practices or in prostitution, objectification, fetishism, and other transactional relationships. But there is often more than sex and power.


To better understand the resolve of partners who stay in a marriage/relationship even though abuses have occurred or continue to come from the other partner, Dr. Paul points out that divorce often leads to condemnation—in one’s family or in society—and that this may contribute to people resolving to stay. The reaction partners must face is “How dare you leave!” Many are capable of keeping a spouse after committing marital infidelity as a means to keep power (Clinton) or position (Ailes, Weinstein, Rose, etc.). Even if abuse is clear, the betrayed partner may elect to “eat the shit”, in Dr. Paul’s words, and stay.


Chapter Six raises a discussion about beauty. This chapter seems to be primarily focused on Dr. Paul himself. He points out that human beauty can activate one’s primitive or basic instinctiveness/drive. Beauty, thus, must be clearly acknowledged, and this principle holds equally true for the rich and wealthy. Are some employees taking advantage of their own beauty? To recognize beauty is always an issue of who perceives it! Many of us may have non-identical views on beauty.


Opulence with regard to luxury rehabilitation facilities and the dynamics of mental health treatment are the topics of Chapter Seven—again, perhaps a rather Dr. Paul-centric chapter! What seems clear from this chapter is that luxury devices, as well as efforts to make treatment approaches more scalable, cannot get around the basic fact that unhealthy dependence on substances typically must be handled directly.


The book’s final chapter, concerning connectedness and the development of a new standard of comparison for healing, seems to be even more centered on the philosophies of the author. Connectedness, between the therapist and the patient as well as between therapists who support each other, seems instrumental. Dr. Paul recommends selectively asking questions to help the therapist gain more clarity regarding the nature of a given psychological issue. The author also recommends a selective and non-aggressive process of posing questions. This approach may also demonstrate to a patient that the therapist is indeed intellectually engaged and not merely aloof. All of these aspects of connectedness lead to a commonly developed plan for treatment, bought into by both patient and therapist.

Many Lorange Network members may find it surprising that I am reviewing a book written by a leading psychologist. But, as stated in the introduction to this review, to explicitly recognize dysfunctional psychological factors among the rich and wealthy, family, business members, and independent investors may be another key to effectively coping with value destruction for members of our target group. The factors discussed in this book should indeed be part of an effective value-preserving strategy!



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